Girls...

The previous posts about food and eye candy were just to set the mood right for this post.

You see, girls are funny creatures. There are a few cases which I find amusing!

I normally tell others I do not have girl friends, in fact, I never had one. The sad thing is, girls DO NOT appreciate virgins! They do not believe I am totally frank and honest to them, they always have the impression that I am lying.

I know I know, it's a sin for an attractive, charming, sensitive, sensible and cute guy like me to be single until now. It defies all the common sense and logic they built up throughout their growing years!

When they know that you have had many love escapades before them, they find you lack of security and would cling on to you in hope to be your LAST escapade, or grave to most guys. They become senseless and always try to challenge you to test how faithful you are to them and how honest you are to them.

Little things could develop into major tragics, big arguments, and months of cold war. They become insecured and try every trick they could find in CLEO, Cosmo and Marie Claire to track you down and lock you in. These could drag for years until you kneel down and ask them to marry you!

If your previous girl friends are either well endowed, strong in personality, scantily clad, sweet like honey or not-of-this-world, things get more interesting and totally a new ball of game! Try to let them find out how gorgeous and heavenly your previous loves are by leaving little clues and artifacts behind.

They feel priviledged and proud! Ideas like "my guy actually left all the fake bitches and start to appreciate girls with substance like me!" "I bet they could not even cook instant noodle, I know how to keep my guy with my secret recipes!" "brainless blondes with nothing but make ups, my guy is really starting to realise how superficial he was!"

But please make sure your normal female friends that you meet up with her together are well below her par! If you have to catch up with other female friends who are well endowed, strong in personality, scantily clad, sweet like honey and not-of-this-world, never ever bring them along. DO NOT even let them know even if it's just a normal catch up.

So, what's the best thing to plant in their mind if you want hassle free relationships?

I HAVE NOT REALLY HAD ANY GIRL FRIEND BEFORE I MET YOU, THE PREVIOUS ONES WERE JUST TOO SUPERFICIAL TO BE COMPARED WITH THE LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU, BEAUTY AND BODY WOULD LEAVE YOU, BUT I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU AT WILL.